Story time: how i got over my breakup

  I’m so sorry about the 2 month break. I haven’t really had time to sit down and really compose this write up, maybe because it is personal. I want to thank a very special friend of mine who pushed me to continue writing. So that’s that.
   Now breakup like I have explained before is like someone pulling out your heart right from inside you and crushing it without any remorse. INFACT I can’t think of any comparison to relate to how much breakup is. Breakup doesn’t only happen to girls or ladies or whatever, it happens to guys to so ladies please be careful of how you treat a guy cause they also have feelings.  
   Without further ado let’s get into how I got over my breakup and hopefully, if you use these methods, you too can get yourself together and follow the words of Elsa and let it go.
1. CRY: So this is for girls cause it might sound weird if I say guys should cry. But yeah you shouldn’t just move on after a breakup. You should have time to actually reminisce the memories you had with whoever you just broke up with. That is the first step of healing. Some people might find this absurd and question me by asking me why they should cry over someone that broke their heart. But if you have ever really liked someone or “loved” someone and end up getting your heart broken then you’ll understand how it is to cry over someone. When I ended my relationship, I thought that I could move on without feeling any pain or what not; but immediately I was alone, on my bed and the memories hit me like a wind, I honestly didn’t know where the tears came from but I found myself weeping. I thought crying for a guy was so “last season” and so cliche because I had never once experienced it but when I did, immediately I started crying, immediately the tear came down my eyes rolling down my cheeks. I promised myself never to judge someone’s action if I have never been in my shoes. Now what did I do after crying? Brings me to my next point
2. TALK TO SOMEONE: Infact, this is a must. You are hurting inside please don’t keep it bottled up. Talk to someone. Pour out your emotions to the people you know won’t judge you when you are at your lowest. When I broke up and was crying, I decided to talk to people that only hearing their voice would make me breakdown again and that’s what I need. If I can remember well, I called three people that night and immediately I heard their voice, I broke down even more. I began telling them everything I was feeling at that point in time. I told them how i felt like a fool for loving so hard(stuff like that). Surprisingly, they kept quiet when I was crying on the phone, they spoke to me when I had calmed down a bit and I would not lie their words were really therapeutic to me. I felt a bit better after talking to them. So talk to someone!
3. LISTEN TO BREAKUP SONGS: I know you might be saying that my steps are a bit crazy but that’s how I did get over my breakup. I created a breakup playlist and listened to it through out my grieving. Now what we don’t know is that there are stages of after break up; but I’ll focus on one now which is denial! You practically saw your future with this guy and now you are no longer together. That is a little to much to accept at a go. After the breakup, I kept on waiting for him to call me and to tell me that he was joking or that it was a prank(some toxic shit) But it never came probably because I blocked and deleted his number from my phone. What got me out of that denial phase where the songs I began listening to. Songs like “none of your concern” by Jhené Aiko , “playing games” by summer walker. Basically songs that actually tell you bitch it’s over and you need to get your sorry ass up and move on. I think I’ll write a review of my “in my feelings” playlist in my next blog post. Comment yes if you want that!
4. Learn to love yourself again: When I broke up, I began to question my self-worth. I began doubting who I was and what I was capable of doing. Am I that ugly? Is it because i am flat, is it because i am black? So many questions came through my mind at that point in time. But you know what kept me going? I decided to make my self better. I began building my self-confidence, my self-growth and my self-love most especially. I flipped the switch and stopped asking if I am good enough or asking my self what he was doing. I began asking my self “what fun thing should I do right now for ME” or “babe, I love my life now that i am free” I had to change the thought in my head in order to change my life.
5. UNFOLLOW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: So someone told me that I shouldn’t have done this and that I would have allowed him see me glow up. But I realized that he doesn’t deserve to see me glow up or see how I am enjoying my life without him. That’s obviously good but how I got over my breakup was by unfollowing him on all my social media. I obliterated all the photos I had of us from my phone. I started a new life. Yes that’s obviously hard to do but it’s mandatory. How long are you gonna stalk them? It has to stop!!! Move on and let them go.
  
Coming out of a breakup isn’t easy at all like I have said but I made it and I am doing fine and I know you too will make it. I want you to do these things
• honor all the emotions you’ll go through
• Remind yourself how amazing you are. Cause you are
• Tell yourself that you are better off without him in your life.
• Lastly, look forward to the amazing and fun filled life you are going to have after letting go.

Thank you for reading, hope you’ll share the link. Comment yes if you want me to do an review blog of songs on my playlist or songs you need to have on your “In my feelings” playlist. I have also decided to post at least once a week or twice maybe if I have any topic!